Emily Letts is an abortion counselor at
Cherry Hill Women’s Center in New Jersey. Recently, she found herself unexpectedly pregnant. She new immediately that she would have an abortion, and soon began thinking of ways she could use her experience to embolden other women who likewise found themselves in an unwanted pregnancy. Below, in her own words,* is her rationale:
I was a professional actress for many years. … I had a friend who was a birth doula, and she fascinated me with her stories about giving birth and growing life. … I trained as a doula … During my training, I learned there are … birth doulas, adoption doulas, and abortion doulas. A light went off in my head.
The idea of helping women through an abortion and supporting them and reassuring them that they are still wonderful and beautiful resonated deeply with me. … I reached out to Cherry Hill … I was hired on the spot …
I found out I was pregnant in November. I had been working at the clinic for about a year. It was my first pregnancy … I hadn't been using any kind of birth control, which is crazy, I know. … Before this experience, hormonal birth control scared me because of complications I’d heard about from friends … So I tracked my ovulation cycle, and I didn’t have any long-term partners. I thought I was OK. But, you know, things happen. I wound up pregnant. …
Once I caught my breath, I knew immediately I was going to have an abortion. … The guy wasn’t involved in my decision. …
While I was pregnant and waiting for my procedure, I thought, “Wait a minute, I have to use this.” … I searched the Internet, and I couldn’t find a video of an actual surgical procedure in the clinic that focused on the woman’s experience. …
I wanted to show it wasn’t scary — and that there is such a thing as a positive abortion story. It’s my story. …
I was focused on staying positive and feeling the love from everyone in the room. … I know that sounds weird, but to me, this was as birth-like as it could be. It will always be a special memory for me. I still have my sonogram, and if my apartment were to catch fire, it would be the first thing I'd grab. …
Every time I watch the video, I love it. I love how positive it is. …
I know there are women who feel great remorse. I have seen the tears … but what I really wanted to address in my video is guilt.
Our society breeds this guilt. We inhale it from all directions. Even women who come to the clinic completely solid in their decision to have an abortion say they feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Even though they know 110 percent that this is the best decision for them, they pressure themselves to feel bad about it.
I didn’t feel bad. … And I am grateful that I can share my story and inspire other women to stop the guilt.
*Click the link to source above for the full transcript of her comments.
Dear Emily, there IS a way to "stop the guilt," but it's not found in denying your culpability or painting your shame in a "positive" light. True absolution from guilt can only come by receiving the grace and forgiveness found in Christ Jesus for the payment for our sin. Why do you think you cling to your sonogram picture as you do? Search your heart. Is it because it is now the only way you can "carry" the child you chose to discard.
I will pray for you to face your own grief, even as you say so many who visit your clinic grieve, so that you might find forgiveness in Christ, and with it, the genuine absolution of all guilt and shame.
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1).
"Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter" (Isaiah 5:20).
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