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A Hymn for Everyone

Music Humor Worship

Source: Unknown

Contributed By: Brenton Pears | Date Posted: 2023-03-17

Scripture: Ephesians 5:19 ; Psalms 104:33

Author: Unknown
4

ILLUSTRATION

The Weatherman’s Hymn—There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

The Contractor’s Hymn—The Church’s One Foundation

The Tailor’s Hymn—Holy, Holy, Holy

The Politician’s Hymn—Standing on the Promises

The Optometrist’s Hymn—Open My Eyes That I May See

The IRS Agent’s Hymn—I Surrender All

The Electrician’s Hymn—I Saw the Light

The Shopper’s Hymn—Sweet Bye and Bye

The Realtor’s Hymn—I’ve Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop

The Doctor’s Hymn—The Great Physician

APPLICATION

While this list is humorously tongue-in-cheek, the reality is that the music of the faith has been more than just a vehicle of worship and adoration; it has been a great source of instruction, encouragement, comfort, and hope from the beginning, first to the Jews and then to the church. From the songs of Moses, to the Psalms, to the Magnificat, to the traditional hymns, to modern praise choruses, they all speak timeless truths, and there is literally something that speaks to everyone.

"Addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart ..." (Ephesians 5:19, ESV).

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God" (Colossians 3:16, ESV).

"I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being" (Psalm 104:33, ESV).

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Honesty Character Humor

Source: Personal experience

Contributed By: Troy Dukes | Date Posted: 2022-02-23

Scripture: Exodus 20:15 ; Proverbs 9:17

Author: Troy Dukes
2

ILLUSTRATION

When I was a small boy growing up in Mississippi, my Granny was often a source of wisdom, unconditional love, good cooking, and entertainment. I'll never forget a lesson she taught me by accident about honesty. We had stopped at a convenience store after church, where she intended to get a Sunday paper from the machine out front. She gave me a quarter and told me to run get two papers, one for her and one for my mother.

I got to the machine and saw that a Sunday paper was 25 cents, and I shouted to her as she sat in the car that I would need another quarter. Granny said, "No, baby, just put the quarter in the slot, open the door, and get two papers out of the machine." I must have looked puzzled because she repeated herself a little louder.

About that time a customer walked out of the store, so when I proceeded to explain that I couldn't get two papers out of the machine without putting in two quarters, she shushed me, got out of the car, and said, "Just get in the car." I climbed into the car and watched as she put the quarter into the slot, opened the door, and retrieved two newspapers.

As the metal door slammed shut and she began to walk away, she was suddenly stopped short by the strap of her big, black purse hanging on her arm.  She had accidentally caught the purse in the paper machine. With the door closed, she was stuck. 

After a frustrating moment of indecision, Granny fished around, produced a second quarter, and freed herself from captivity. It was all I could do to keep from laughing, but something told me to keep that lesson to myself.

APPLICATION

The Bible teaches us that stealing is always wrong and that it is what we do in our private moments that define our character and prove our witness to those around us. Doing the right thing is not one option among others for the Christian, it is a mandate.

Even when the compromise seems small, even when it appears no one is looking or is likely to be harmed, our theft, our lie, our disregard for what is right has consequences.

“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!  And to him who lacks sense she says, 'Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.' But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol" (Proverbs 9:16-18, ESV). 

The Rat Race

Worldliness Humor Transformation

Source: 1956, The Golden Ham: A Candid Biography of Jackie Gleason by Jim Bishop, (Undated letter from Jackie Gleason to Gen (Genevieve, estranged wife Gleason)), Quote Page 258,

Link to Source: Click here to view source

Contributed By: Illustration Exchange | Date Posted: 2021-10-28

Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:7

Author: Jackie Gleason / Lily Tomlin
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ILLUSTRATION

Lily Tomlin's version of a Jackie Gleason quote is as follows:

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat."

APPLICATION

The Apostle Paul spoke of a different kind of race.  One in which those who run are transformed, not into rats but into the image of Christ!

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Timothy 4:7).

What Shamu Taught Me About Marriage

Marriage Humor Motivation

Contributed By: John Reed | Date Posted: 2018-07-21

Scripture: 1 Peter 4:8

Author: Amy Sutherland
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The Search for the Perfect Man

Humor Romance Relationships

Contributed By: Mitchell Dillon | Date Posted: 2018-03-09

Scripture: Ephesians 5:25

Author: Unknown
12

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Always A Reason To Be Thankful

Thankfulness Hearing God's Voice Humor

Contributed By: Kory Ferree | Date Posted: 2017-07-31

Scripture: Romans 8:28 ; Matthew 13:22

Author: Kory Ferree
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A Rich Man Brings A Suitcase To Heaven

Materialism Heaven Humor

Contributed By: Illustration Exchange | Date Posted: 2017-07-18

Scripture: Mark 10:21

Author: Unknown
28

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I'm Dead. I'm Sure of It!

Aging Heaven Humor

Contributed By: Larry Lewis | Date Posted: 2017-02-01

Scripture: Revelation 21:4 ; Galatians 5:24

Author: unknown
22

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You Were There ...

Gratitude Humor Marriage

Contributed By: Illustration Exchange | Date Posted: 2015-11-17

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 1:4

Author: Unknown / Illustration Exchange
21

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A New Identity

Humor Identity Die To Self

Contributed By: James Miller | Date Posted: 2015-06-18

Scripture: Galatians 2:20

Author: N.T. Wright
21

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