Imagine the conversation in the detox intake office:
"What is your name, sir?"
"Bond, James Bond."
"And why are you here?"
"Researchers say I have a drinking problem. I don't know what they are talking about."
Scientists wanted to examine just how much alcohol the famous fictional secret agent consumes, and what effect that could have on his health. They published a study, led by Graham Johnson of the emergency department of Royal Derby Hospital, in the British Medical Journal's Christmas edition, which features a variety of offbeat research papers.
Researchers found Bond's weekly alcohol consumption totaled 92 units a week, which is more than four times what doctors recommend. A real person would not be able to carry out such complicated tasks and function as well as Bond does while maintaining such habits, they conclude. …
The finding of 92 units a week could actually be the low end of the truth, as studies have shown that "people generally underestimate their alcohol consumption by about 30%," the study said, noting other research has demonstrated that health surveys don't account for about half of all alcohol sold.
In other words, Bond may be drinking much more than the large quantities portrayed in the books. "We advise an immediate referral for further assessment and treatment," the study authors wrote, as well as "a reduction in alcohol to safe levels." ...
A real person who drank as much as Bond, more than 60 grams of alcohol per day, would be in the highest risk group for malignancies, depression, hypertension and cirrhosis and could also suffer sexual dysfunction.
Early death would be likely for the spy as a result of such rampant alcohol consumption, researchers said.
Fleming, the author who created the Bond character, and frequently drank and smoked tobacco, died at age 56 of heart disease. "We suspect that Bond's life expectancy would be similar," the researchers wrote.
"Real" addicts are in as much denial of their alcohol consumption as the fictional James Bond. Their stories, however, don't end with themselves as the glorified heroes, but rather the vanquished victim. Don't end up the vanquished victim. Write your own story, "From Rehab With Love."
"Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise" (Proverbs 20:1); "Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper. Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mind will imagine confusing things. You will be like one sleeping on the high seas, lying on top of the rigging. “They hit me,” you will say, “but I’m not hurt! They beat me, but I don’t feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?" (Proverbs 23:29-35).