How do you know you're co-dependent? When you die you see someone else's life flash before your eyes!
All jokes aside, getting stuck in "other centeredness" is one of the toughest links to break in the chain of co-dependency. We are so sure others cannot live without us. We live for them, make decisions for them, enable them, rescue them, and sadly, may even die fretting over them.
Oddly enough, the key to breaking the chain of other-centeredness is ... other centeredness. But that "other" is none other than Christ Himself. We are to live for Him, make decisions for Him, not because He can't live without us, but because we can't live without Him. We are the ones being enabled and rescued when He is at the center of our lives.
In the end, the life we should see flash before us is our own, lived for His glory! The key to enjoying a spiritually dynamic life is total dependence on Christ.
"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10, ESV).
Illustration Exchange
Aptly described as a "cross between Britney Spears and Thor," Collette Nelson is a champion, female body builder. With bulging biceps, chiseled abs, thunderous thighs, and perfect pecs--all shimmering with contour enhancing oils and the orange glow of that notoriously fake, spray-on tan that has become the trademark of the sport--she is the epitome of the ideal female physique (at least in the world of female body building).
Even if you don't appreciate the aesthetics of her iron woman physique, you can certainly appreciate her commitment to ultimate fitness, right? I mean, what could be healthier or more ideal than a person pumped up to their prime?
Well, it seems that all is not as ideal as it appears.
"You're the most unhealthy the day of a show," says Collette. "You're dehydrated. You've eaten limited food. You've been over trained. You're taking some type of diuretic, whether it be natural or not. That day of the show, I've gotta tell you, you look like perfection, but inside you're just, you're barely hangin' on."
*Click the link to source above to view Ms. Nelson in full competitive form.
Isn't it true that we are our most unhealthy at those times when we're trying hardest to impress others? As Collette put it, "You're the most unhealthy the day of a show!"
Also, when we look to others for the approval we should be seeking from God, we become spiritually dehydrated and malnourished. We may look like perfection on the outside, but inside we're just barely hanging on.
"Watch out! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven" (Matthew 6:1, NLT).
"Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them" (John 7:37-38).
Whitney Houston, in an interview with Diane Sawyer in 2002, discussed the pain and frustration she experienced in her failed comeback attempt. At one point in the interview she turned to Ms. Sawyer and asked, "Have you ever heard the sound of 10,000 people disappointed in you?"
Hailed as perhaps the greatest vocalist of all time, Whitney Houston once stood atop the music industry as the unchallenged queen of pop. The greatness of her talent was met by an equally magnanimous outpouring of love from millions of fans the world over. But when her abuse of drugs and other related habits finally robbed her of that "golden voice," the cheers turned to jeers.
She had risen to the pinnacle of admiration like few others, only to have it all melt away as soon as her flaws were revealed. The rejection left her confidence wavering from the resonating sound of her fans' disapproval. Even so, in that same interview, Ms. Houston declared emphatically, "I know this—Jesus loves me!" It was a declaration she would assert repeatedly, even at the occasion of her final public appearance the night before she died.
Despite her flaws and self-doubt, there was one thing she did not question: the love of Jesus. What a critical realization, one which highlights the important distinction between the love of the world and the love of God. The former is fickle and fleeting; the latter is sure and eternal.
If an adored star like Whitney Houston could suffer the pain of this world's fickle love, don't think it won't treat you the same--or worse!
The sad truth is we must conceal our flaws if we hope to hang on to the love of this world. But not so with the love of God! His love is felt most strongly when we lead off with them!
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him" (1 John 4:16).