Sometimes we can fear showing even very simple, clear acts of love. Many fathers rarely tell their children that they love them. The National Center for Fathering reports, from the informal surveying of fathers that only about 3-4% of fathers tell their children that they love them on a consistent basis. It’s not that they don’t love their children, they do, and they often desperately want to tell their children that they love them. But they don’t because they’re afraid of how their children might respond.

According to the Center:

Our words—or sometimes our lack of words—can either bless or discourage our children for their entire lives. And we’ve heard all the excuses: 'They know how much I love them.' 'I don’t want my son to get a big head.' 'It just isn’t what we do in our family.' But those are just excuses. If we know how much it benefits our children, there’s really no reason we shouldn’t say it.

Fear often causes us to shrink back from doing what we know we "ought" to do, causing us to lean into excuses.

But the Center assures us:

... [T]hose three words, spoken with sincerity and backed up by behavior, can demonstrate support, encouragement, tenderness, and caring as much as anything else we do as fathers.

My father grew up in the Depression era in a leaky and cold house.  He said, in winter months, he could sometimes have snow in his bedroom. The house was not well insulated, so the wind could bring a chill. Though the conditions were difficult, he never questioned the loved of his father.

One frigid night, my father woke up and was thirsty.  He called out to his dad and asked him for some water. They did not have running water in the house, so my grandfather had to go outside in the cold to get a cup of water. My dad could hear the floor creaking as my grandfather stepped through the dark house. He heard the door open and the ice breaking as my grandfather got the water from a bucket that had frozen over.

As my grandfather brought the cup of water to my dad's bedside, my dad said he had never felt so loved as he did in that moment. His father had sacrificed his own comfort to satisfy my dad's thirst. What a great example of a father's love.

Fourteen year old Tyce Pender of Cayce, S.C., has started his own lawn mowing business using a $200 loan from his mom to buy a new lawnmower, rake, and leaf blower. To date, he’s mowed nearly 20 lawns and earned over $400. 

That’s a nice stack of cash! He could now afford a new video game system, a primo new bike, or even some great new threads. But Tyce isn’t saving for games, gadgets, or new clothes. He’s saving for something far more important — his own adoption!

Tyce’s step-dad, Eric Jenkins, came into his life when he was just 2 yrs old. He’s been there every step of the way to raise him, mentor, him, encourage him, discipline him, provide for him, and protect him. He’s been everything a father could and should be to Tyce. 

The family’s goal, from the beginning, was for Eric to adopt him. Yet times are hard and finances are short. So both Tyce and Eric have had to be patient and settle for Eric's fulfilling the role of "awesome step-dad" rather than "adoptive father." But their patience may not have to hold out much longer if Tyce has his way.

He has committed himself fully to raising money and saving toward the legal fees necessary for him to officially take Jenkin’s name and to be able, finally, to call him his legal father.

"This is important because Eric teaches me respect, independence and what a man is supposed to be," explained Tyce. "If anything ever happens to my mom, Eric is who I'd want to live with. … Court is expensive," said Tyce. "I thought I could make enough money to pay for the adoption."