Go To Your Brother
Joseph Parker, a prominent British minister at the end of the 19th century, published an open letter to express his concerns for his friend and colleague, Charles Spurgeon. The letter read, "Let me advise you to widen the circle of which you are the center. You are surrounded by offerers of incense. They flatter your weakness, they laugh at your jokes, they feed you with compliments. My dear Spurgeon, you are too big a man for this."
Whether the concerns were valid or not, the method was certainly lacking. A true friend brings their concerns to us privately and only goes to our public with words of support and/or praise.
We would all do well to practice this same discretion in our social media interactions. Why correct a friend on a public facebook page when you can just as easily private message them? Show them you care more about them than winning an argument or looking superior.
"If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over" (Matthew 18:15).
Killfies
What do high cliff ledges, train tracks, animal game parks, bridges and buildings have in common? They are apparently popular sites for people to take selfies and places where over 200 people have died in the last 5 years in pursuit of that “perfect selfie.” The Economic Times of India, a country leading the world in deaths by selfies, reports that 86 people in 2016 and 73 people in 2017 died in this tragic, needless way. Since 2014, 128 have died in the course of taking selfies in this densely populated nation.
But other countries are getting involved in trying to stem the tide of such tragedies. Irish doctors reported, “The consequences of poorer spatial awareness and a focus on getting a good or daring photo has lead to multiple traumas” (Indulekha Aravind, 2/18/18). There are people in Russia that have become celebrities because of their daring self-centered photos (ibid.). Nowhere social media has gone is there an exemption from this trend, including here in our country.
Because I do not have a background in psychology, I could be wrong about this but could these extraordinary lengths to capture oneself in these kinds of photos be an act of desperation for acceptance, friendship, or even love? Could the yearning for admiration, congratulations, and adulation drive people to disregard all restraint and precaution?
I do know that, as Henry David Thoreau said in 1854, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” (Walden, ch. 1, p. 8). With selfies, we are able to project exactly the image or perception of ourselves that we want others to see. We don’t publish the unflattering or the boring. We want to be seen as valuable, relevant, and attractive. Why? Though we might lose our way in the process, human nature yearns for community and relationship (cf. Genesis. 2:24).
By contrast, God formed the Church to be a place where we focus on others. Paul wrote, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians. 2:3-4).
So much about being Jesus’ disciples gets us outside ourselves and into the lives of others—not just other Christians but people from every walk of life outside of Christ. He wants our energy, effort, and focus to be turned outward. It’s not so much about projection as service.
They Call It Sologamy
The BBC reports:
An Italian woman has married herself in a ceremony complete with white dress, three-layer wedding cake, bridesmaids and 70 guests. 'I firmly believe that each of us must first of all love ourselves,' said Laura Mesi, a 40-year-old fitness trainer. 'You can have a fairytale even without the prince.'
While the ceremony carries no legal weight, it's part of a growing trend for self-marriage, dubbed 'sologamy,' in countries around the world. Its advocates say it is about self-love and acceptance. Japan began offering such bridal ceremonies back in 2014, and in both the U.S. and Canada, self-wedding kits are offered with names like 'I Married Me.'
Genesis reminds us that, "It is not good for the man [or woman!] to be alone; I will make a suitable helper...." (Genesis 2:18). While Scripture holds singleness to be as honorable as marriage (1 Cor 7), God never intended the two sexes to live in "splendid isolation" from each other. Men and women are created to help and respect, not ignore, each other. Sologamy is a distortion of God's institution of marriage and, sadly, just another example of how, in the last days, people will become "lovers of themselves" (2 Timothy 3:2).